Raising Kids
by Allabm
Summary: AU! Ivan and Matthew decide to adopt kids. The two learn that it's hard to be parents, and that Alfred's stupidity can grow over the years. I haven't really seen any stories where the two have kids Rated T  Google Translate used srry if I got stuff wrong
1. Chapter 1

Raising Kids

Summary: AU! Ivan and Matthew decide to adopt kids. The two learn that it's hard to be parents, and that Alfred's stupidity can grow over the years. I haven't really seen any stories where the two have kids (unless it's a love child…still don't get that…)  
I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT OC'S OF MINE! XDDD  
(Russians make AMAZING desserts, can't beat the French with pastries, but definitely beat any other countries chocolate and candies)

* * *

Chapter One

Ivan Braginski knew that his significant other, Matthew Williams, loved him. Vice versa. The couple had been married for two years, and they had decided to adopt a child (or children ). It was a very odd night when telling Matthew's family about their decision. For Matthew it had been hell, but for Ivan it was fun.

_"I'm glad you guys could make it…" Matthew said fiddling around with his hands that he kept on his lap while his family, Alfred, Arthur, and Francis were sitting down in the living room with paintings of sunflowers seen about (there would have been more, but Matthew insisted not to overdo it)._

_"So Mattie is there any reason why you and the commie bastard invited us over?" Alfred spoke releasing his stupidity to the world and Ivan slightly glaring at him. _

_"Yes…you see, Papa, Alfred, Dad…Ivan and I were thinking about adopting" he spit out._

_"OH THAT IS WONDERFUL MATHIEU! I'm so excited on being a grand-père! But wait! That means I'm getting old! ARTHUR PLEASE TELL ME I'M STILL YOUNG AND SEXY AND THAT YOU WILL LOVE ME EVERY NIGHT!" Francis started screaming and wrapping his arms tightly around Arthur._

_"GET OFF ME YOU BLOODY FROG!" Arthur yelled. Alfred was in his "hero thinking" pose._

_"Wait… so let me get this straight. This child will be part Mattie part commie?" Alfred questioned._

_"Нet we are adopting Alfred. The child will not be blood related to us, thank goodness it won't have your stupidity Да." Ivan spoke._

_"What's that supposed to mean commie!" Alfred yelled. Matthew couldn't take it anymore. Everyone was yelling. He was getting a headache already and the parenting hadn't even started yet._

_Matthew was getting more and more irritated by the second, "EVERYONE BE QUIET!" All of the commotion stopped and everyone looked at Matthew. "I-I'm s-s-sorry" the shy young man said quietly and started to blush. Ivan wrapped an arm around his lover's waist and pulled him close._

_"We only invited you here for your approval on our decision. Now can we all act like adults да?" Ivan spoke. Arthur sighed, Alfred pouted, and Francis flipped his hair._

_"Oui. I approve of being a grand-père. Je ne peux pas attendre un enfant pour courir environ et joue avec." Francis said._

_"It wouldn't be fair for me to say no, since someone has to keep Francis' grubby paws off the little one" Arthur told the couple._

_"Doesn't look like I can say no. I WILL BE THE BEST UNCLE EVER BECAUSE I'M THE HERO!" Alfred yelled standing up. Ivan and Matthew smiled but they knew that it wasn't over yet._

"Ivan are you ready yet?" Matthew asked his husband while he was washing his hands in the bathroom. Today was the day they were picking up their new children. Originally the plan was one, but apparently most of the family was interested in double trouble, and by family it was Francis (because he loves incest), Katyusha (because she loves acting like a mother), Ivan (because he thinks that all children should learn to never trust an American, by the name of Alfred F. Jones), Alfred (because they weren't related to Ivan and so he could teach them to never trust a Russian, by the name of Ivan Braginski), and Matthew himself because he had really gotten into the parenting stuff, and couldn't say no to the little faces he'd seen (not like they begged him or anything).

"Да! I'm just getting my scarf". Ivan insisted on wearing his scarf even though the weather wasn't cold enough for it. After getting ready, the two left their house to the orphanage to get the new additions in the family.

When arriving at the orphanage the social worker, Elizaveta was waiting for them and scurrying behind her were the kids, while the two walked up to her.

"Good afternoon. Unity and Jamie were waiting for you guys. They said that they enjoyed the interview and couldn't wait to move in." Elizaveta said. Ivan grinned like a child looking at the seven and thirteen year old siblings. The girl Unity had curly black hair while the boy Jamie had black hair that can later make any girl fall for him. Oh Francis would have some fun. They both had and blue green eyes.

Matthew felt as if he was in heaven. It started with the trip here, then the interview, the court approval, and now actually taking them in. His life was great, even though he had grown up with people mistaking him for his brother Alfred, and other times getting picked on or hurt because of that, and had been threatened by Natalia when dating Ivan, and having to deal with his brother's stupidity, his life was great, and nobody could change it.

Matthew took Ivan's hand and they had gone to help finish the children pack.

* * *

It had been a few days since Unity and Jamie moved in. Unity was shy and quiet unlike her younger brother who was bouncing off the walls and always questioning Ivan about his accent and the sunflower paintings. Unity was very mature for her age, she was thirteen, and had admired the paintings and hasn't spoken much. Elizaveta had said that they were excited, but it only showed in Jamie. Since the children were brought into the home during the spring break of the local school district, they were left at home with Matthew on some days and Ivan on the others.

Today both parents stayed at home, because Francis decided that both families meet the new additions. Yep you guessed it, Alfred, Arthur, Francis, Natalia, Katyusha, Matthew and Ivan, plus the children in one household for the same day. Joy. Matthew was worried when he first heard the news and started cleaning the house right away.

Ivan tended to the sunflowers outside, found hiding places from Natalia, a place to lock Alfred in just in case, and had helped the children get ready to meet the family. Unity had worn a white dress with a black ribbon around the waist and had put a black ribbon in her hair as well. Jamie had to clean up and wore a dress shirt with dress pants.

"I don't wanna!" Jamie kept on yelling as Ivan tried to get him to put the clothing on. Matthew had gotten annoyed at one point and came into the bedroom.

"What's going on?" Matthew asked putting a hand on his hip.

"Jamie won't wear his nice clothing. You should wear you're nice clothing so the family will think you're a nice little boy. You want to be a nice little boy да?"

"But I don't want to! Why do I need to wear it! That way I can't run around" Jamie pouted.

"That's the point" Matthew mumbled, "Alright, Ivan go get dressed and then set the table. Jamie you will put the clothes on and you won't complain. Our families will be here any minute and I'm not even ready myself. Got it?" Jamie nodded and changed. Unity was sitting down on the living room floor admiring the paintings. After Ivan had gotten changed he went into the living room and saw Unity.

"You like them да?" Ivan asked. Unity nodded her head. "Is there a reason that you do not speak?" he questioned her.

"Nothing happened yet. Nothing to speak about yet. I have to talk to the family right?" she spoke.

"Да. They'll be here soon, you should get off the ground and not get your pretty dress dirty". And with that the girl got off the ground.

* * *

When the families arrived, it wasn't only relatives. Francis brought Gilbert and Antonio, while the Russian sisters brought Toris, a family friend. When Matthew saw how many people he was nervous and then added more plates to the table. Francis had fallen in love with the kids and he kept trying to seduce Unity and whenever that happened Arthur would smack Francis and drag him away. Katyusha brought Russian chocolate from the grocery stores and Jamie instantly loved his тетя Katyusha, while тетя Natalia scared him. Unity spoke to some of the people there like Toris, Katyusha, Antonio, Ivan, Matthew, the occasional Francis (who then got hurt by Arthur), and had given up on speaking to Alfred and Gilbert.

During dinner Gilbert talked about some of his "best friends" Roderich and Elizaveta. When Jamie heard the name Elizaveta he started talking all about the social worker that helped him get here today. Turns out it was the same person. The seven year old told them all how she hated a man called Gilbert. Joy.

The night had been a success, (except Francis' pedophilia). Jamie fell asleep in his bed after being read a story about aliens, and Unity fell asleep on the floor, and Ivan carried her upstairs into her bed. It was awkward for him, he wasn't sure if he should leave her in her dress or change her into pajamas, lucky for him Katyusha stayed a bit longer and helped out with that problem. Big sisters are the best!

Later that evening Ivan and Matthew enjoyed their drinks, Matthew stuck with coffee, and Ivan went for vodka.

"Do you enjoy being a parent…?" questioned Matthew.

"Да, it is fun, and I feel like the house isn't always empty. You know we have to enroll them in school да?" he said taking another sip of vodka.

"Oui mon cher, I can't believe I forgot about that already! I need to call the school immediately!" Matthew spoke standing up. Ivan wrapped his arms around him before his Matvey could get away.

"Call the school later Matvey, right now you're mine да" Ivan told his lover

* * *

Translations:  
grand-père- grandfather (French)  
Je ne peux pas attendre un enfant pour courir environ et joue avec- I cannot wait for a child to run around and play with (French)  
Oui- Yes (French)  
Het- No (Russian)  
Mon cher- My dear (French)  
да- Yes (Russian)  
Да- Yes (Russian)  
тетя- Aunt (Russian)


	2. Chapter 2

Raising Kids

So this chapter is about PUBERTY! LOL! This is what happens when we get older kiddies! Poor Matthew and Ivan!  
Matthew: Why do I have to be the first to know? God I feel like such a house wife…  
Me: Because you are  
Matthew: WHAT!  
Ivan & Me: *giggles*  
Matthew: Crazy Russians…  
Me: Technically American…whatever! Don't worry writing this chapter is as awkward for me as you Matvey!  
Matthew: …like I said before…crazy Russians

* * *

Chapter Two

It's been three months since Jamie and Unity moved in, not much happened except Jamie's eight birthday. Long story short the family and family friends came over and celebrated his birthday. He and Alfred had a sword fight three hours straight since Alfred hated losing, especially to eight year olds. Unity was opening up more and they learned that she was a great shoulder to cry on. Life seems easy for Ivan and Matthew so far, but the two forgot that Unity was already in her double digits, and when kids are in their early double digits, something happens, it's called puberty.

Ivan was at work this day, and lucky for Matthew he was the one who was making dinner and laundry. The kids did their share of chores. Matthew had started the load half an hour before Unity would come home from middle school (junior high/secondary school) and he found a little surprise.

"Oh mon dieu!" Matthew whispered. His daughter just got her first period…it is her first right? It has to be her first. Matthew wished that there was another girl here with him, because he knew that he and Ivan would have to talk about this tonight. Let's hope Tide works on this he thought.

* * *

After dinner Jamie went to watch some cartoons in the living room since his Canadian papa told him to because he had to speak to his папа about something. The two drank vodka (Ivan) and apple cider (Matthew).

"Is there something you would like to speak to me about Matvey?" Ivan asked him.

"Yes…you see, um… well…our daughter, just met her m-m-monthly f-friend…" Ivan's husband choked out. There was a silence between the two and Ivan stopped drinking his vodka for a moment.

"So Unity hit puberty да?" Ivan spoke. Matthew nodded. "Then we must talk to her about it да?". Once again his husband nodded. Husband and husband went upstairs and knocked on Unity's bedroom.

"Who is it?" Unity asked.

"Your fathers" Matthew responded.

"Come in". Both of them entered her bedroom and found her sitting on the floor in front of her bed.

"Listen, дочь you are getting older да. Things are going to happen to you, that don't really make sense да." Ivan started.

"Папа this isn't the first time I've gotten my monthly friend. There aren't any…you know feminine products in this house… oh and I already had this talk before. Man you guys are lucky! You should have seen your faces, especially Papa's! He was blushing the whole time!" Unity told them. Was Matthew blushing?

"H-h-how is t-this a l-laughing m-m-matter?" Matthew stuttered out.

"Oh Matvey, your face is adorable when you blush да." Ivan told his lover embracing him in a tight grip. Unity grinned. But her grin faded.

"Hey…um can you guys go buy some…feminine napkins and tampons…" Unity asked her fathers. Ivan looked at Matthew hoping he'd be the daring one to go into the local pharmacy. Matthew sighed and went to grab his coat.

* * *

Matthew was in the pharmacy looking for the feminine hygiene section. _Yes!_ Matthew thought once he found it. But his luck soon disappeared when he bumped into someone…who smelt like fancy cologne.

"Ah Mathieu, I didn't think I'd run into you here." His father Francis said.

"Papa what are you doing here?" Matthew asked him.

"You know I always come here on Tuesdays to make sure all the girls out of Alfred's league stay away from him before he bugs them…and because I do see pretty women here…oh don't tell Arthur the second part! Now what are you doing here?"

"I had to pick up something…" Matthew spoke rubbing the back of his neck.

"In the feminine hygiene section…? You know that they don't sell sex toys here my boy." Francis replied.

"Papa why would you think I buy those things…?"

"I've seen that pipe in Ivan's closet before…" Francis stated simply. Matthew just sighed and shook his head.

"I'm only buying something for Unity Papa" Matthew told Francis.

"Oh, so the young one is getting older, belle fille sexy devenir bonté gracieuse! Yay! Soon she will fall for me!" said Francis.

"Papa she's your granddaughter! What about Arthur?"

"Oh Mathieu, she's not blood related, besides Arthur wouldn't mind!"

"Oh bloody hell I would!" a shouting coming from Francis' cell phone said. Turns out Francis accidentally called Arthur.

"Oh I see Arthur has some interest in me! So should I ask Mathieu to buy a sex toy for us?"

"I'm not buying sex toys!" Matthew yelled at his father.

* * *

Ha poor Matthew. Oh man I love writing Francis' character. Best part is I'm right next to my mom!  
Matthew: Why was I raised by a pervert…?  
Me: Because everyone needs a sexy French man in their lives  
Matthew:…..  
Francis: Oh la la the writer likes me? *raises eyebrow*  
Me: No not you…you're a perverted man whore…

Translations:  
Oh mon dieu- Oh my god (French)  
Папа- Dad/Daddy/Papa (Russian)  
да- Yes (Russian)  
Papa- Dad (French)  
дочь- Daughter (Russian)  
belle fille sexy devenir bonté gracieuse- beautiful girl becoming sexy goodness gracious (French)


	3. Chapter 3

Raising Kids

Me: *speaking in British accent* Bonjour my little sunflowers  
Matthew: This is just creepy now…  
Ivan: *nods*  
Me: *still in British accent* Shush! Who doesn't love an American, English/Russian/Somewhat French speaking writer?  
The Real Me: SEALAND! GET AWAY FROM MY COMPUTER! *knocks him back to UK area* BTW Russian soup is like a bowl of fat with condiments! I'm serious but its SOOOOOOO good …Anyway here's Chapter Three!

* * *

Chapter Three

Many people knew that you shouldn't laugh at Ivan. He had the scary Russian vibe which is a very large stereotype on Russians. The only people who was allowed to somewhat laugh at him were his sisters and Matthew…but none of them knew how Ivan liked to clean the house. The first people that will learn this are…his kids.

Today Ivan was staying home since it was Matthew's turn to go to his job. Ivan finally got a chance to cook some Russian food. From the beginning of their marriage Alfred would come over every day so the couple wouldn't really have a chance to be newlyweds. _Curse that American!_ Ivan would always think. After that he never got a chance to make any Russian food, and he rarely ate it now, well unless he was visiting his sisters. Katyusha would over feed anybody who came over like a grandmother. Natalia would make sure Ivan still had his figure and would freak out if he ate too much, especially with soup…

Anyway Ivan decided that he'd make pelmini, also known as Siberian dumplings. It would be a long process because he makes them from scratch. He would have to make the dough, and mix the meat, and still clean the house…

"Maybe I should have asked Katya to buy the pelmini that you just boil…ugh…" Ivan mumbled an hour in on making the food. Also just letting you know, Ivan wasn't the best cook…and he still had to clean the house. Ivan rolled his neck and went over to the iPod dock and turned up the sound. Russian pop filled the house. He knew he could do everything now.

* * *

Ivan was cleaning the floor and singing along to Tina Karol's Pupsik. He wouldn't get all of the chores finished and still make dinner, but he knew he could rely on the kids. But at the moment he didn't care because this song was amazing. Nobody could resist dancing to it either, so he ended up dancing to the song as well. The song was over and it switched to А Может Да by Света. This was a good song as well. Of course Ivan had to sing and dance to this song as well.

* * *

Unity was walking with her younger brother up the block to their house. Jamie was kicking the dirt as he walked and Unity was getting irritated with him.

"Can you stop?" she asked.

"It's fun though!" Jamie protested.

"It's annoying Jamie" Unity replied. Jamie pouted and stopped. _Thank goodness_ Unity thought. She grabbed the house key out of her back pocket and unlocked the front door.

"Папа we're home!" she shouted. There wasn't a response but she heard music faintly playing. Jamie shrugged and went into the kitchen. Unity then followed her brother and saw something shocking. Ivan was singing and dancing to Russian music while making dinner.

"What are you doing?" Jamie asked their father out of random. Ivan stopped and looked at the two.

"You didn't see that да?" Ivan questioned.

"No we did…so why were you dancing?" Unity asked.

"Don't tell anyone that you saw me doing this да" their father replied.

"Why, it's not that embarrassing" his daughter told him.

"Yes it is!" Ivan whined.

"Does Papa know?" Jamie questioned. Ivan shook his head 'no'.

"He'd think it's cute" Unity said taking an apple, "and you might get some action".

"Excuse me?" Ivan asked. Unity just laughed and took a bite of the apple. Jamie was confused. He didn't know why his father was stern at this moment and why his big sister was ignoring their father.

"I don't get it!" Jamie yelled. Ivan and Unity looked at him and laughed. Jamie didn't think this was funny. It got him mad and he stormed off to watch television.

"That thing is going to rot his brain" Unity mumbled. Ivan nodded and went back to making dinner.

* * *

"So Papa do you like to dance?" Unity asked Matthew towards the end of dinner.

"Not really, why'd you ask?" Matthew questioned. Ivan was making sure he didn't blush.

"I just think you would since Папа obviously does"

"Ivan doesn't dance, he would at a party maybe, Natalia is into dancing…she did ballet for how long Ivan?" Matthew spoke. Ivan was ready to murder his daughter (not that he'd want to!).

"Since she was six да"

"Papa, Daddy was dancing to music today when we came home" Jamie blurted out. Never mind, he was ready to murder his son.

"Oh is that so?" Matthew asked raising an eyebrow as he looked at Ivan who was blushing like crazy. Unity mouthed the words "you're welcome" and then put her plate in the sink and told Jamie that she'll help him with his math homework. She knew that Jamie would make her do it for him but she wanted to give her fathers some alone time. _Thank you Unity_ Ivan thought and let one thing lead to another.

* * *

So that was chapter three! What'd you guys think?  
Matthew: I'm finally acting like a man?  
Me: Uh sure…I enjoyed writing the whole Ivan part  
Ivan: Why?  
Me: Because it's fun  
Alfred: HA! Even the writer thinks you're a commie bastard!  
Me: No I don't idiot.  
Alfred: How could you say that? You're one of my citizens!  
Me: Yes but I do plan on becoming Canadian when I'm older (FREE HEALTH CARE!) and visiting Russia at one point.  
Alfred: WHY?  
Me: Because I don't like you Alfred…and because I want to see my culture, and I love Ivan! *dodges a couple knives from Natalia and a maple syrup bottle from Matthew* NOT THAT WAY! Wait a minute…Alfred why are you in the Author's Notes?  
Alfred: Idk…Mattie and the commie are why can't I be here?  
Me: It's a RussiaxCanada story dumbass… (BTW: The reason why Unity call's Ivan Dad in Russian is because in French and in Russian Dad is pronounced the same way… so the Russian word for dad is pronounced Papa)

Translations:  
А Может Да-Maybe Yes (Russian)(Song Title)  
Света-Sveta (Russian)(Russian Singer)  
Папа- Dad/Daddy/Papa (Russian)  
да- Yes (Russian)


	4. Chapter 4

Hello my readers! Who's ready for me to end up embarrassing Matthew (and the occasional Ivan)?  
Matthew: Do you enjoy torturing me?  
Me: I don't know, in the last chapter's Author Notes you threw a maple syrup bottle at me  
Matthew: But you said-…forget it  
Me: Don't worry Matvey I don't hold grudges *hides diabolical plan on getting revenge* See?  
Matthew: O.O  
Me: That was on Alfred… MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA  
Matthew:…um…going to go away now…

* * *

Chapter Four

"Hey Mattie, can you make me a burger?"

"You know Alfred, I'm not your personal slave and not to be rude or anything…but why are you here?" Matthew asked his older brother.

"I was bored. Plus you ought to be lonely with the commie out of the house and the kids at school" Alfred responded.

"Yes but Al-" Matthew started but was interrupted by the phone. He answered.

"Hello?"

"Hello? Ah Matvey! We've got a problem." Ivan told him.

"What, what happened?" Matthew asked.

"Jamie's school called. It turns out he was in a playground issue да. His teacher wants to meet with us tomorrow."

"Okay…good-bye Ivan, Je t'aime." Matthew told his lover before he hung up.

"Good-bye. Love you." Ivan replied. They both hung up.

"What does Jet Tom mean?" Alfred asked.

"Its Je t'aime and it means I love you in French"

"Ew you said I love you to Ivan! That's gross Mattie!" Alfred shrieked.

"He's my husband Al and I can say I love you to him whenever I want to." Matthew defended.

"Oh yeah… why'd he call anyway?" Alfred questioned.

"Turns out Jamie is having a problem in school, and we have to speak with his teacher tomorrow." Matthew explained.

"Woah…well since I'm the hero I can go instead of the commie!" Alfred yelled.

"NO! _Ivan_ and _I _are his parents. You are the uncle you have nothing to do with this…besides I don't think you'd want to sit in a room for a while with a teacher."

"Is she hot?"

"Al…I'm interested in men…remember?" Matthew asked his idiot brother. Alfred then mumbled another "Oh yeah".

* * *

Ivan and Matthew walked into Jamie's elementary school looking as presentable as possible. Matthew and Ivan both wore dress shirts with ties, but Ivan kept his scarf on. Matthew was nervous, why was his son part of this? They found the classroom. Ivan knocked on the door and then opened it. A woman in her early 40's/late 30's, with straight brown hair that reaches her shoulders, green eyes, and a friendly smile was sitting at the teacher's desk.

"Hi, I'm Mrs. Carlston. Please have a seat…Mr. and Mr. Braginski." The woman said. She looked a little uneasy when stating that there were two men in the room.

"Hello Mrs. Carlston. I'm Matthew Jamie's father" Matthew said.

"Pleasure to see you again Mrs. Carlston да." Ivan said shaking her hand. Ivan was the one who met with the teacher before Jamie started school here.

"So Mrs. Carlston what exactly happened?" Matthew asked her.

"Well he was playing on the monkey bars with a few other kids. Apparently they started swinging into each other until they ended kicking themselves off onto the ground. They all fell onto each other and one student twisted his wrist. That kind of behavior isn't allowed here." She told them.

"That doesn't sound like our Jamie. I mean he's very energetic unlike his sister, but he wouldn't hurt another student." Matthew told her. Ivan nodded.

"That is what happened. I'd like to ask you a few things about Jamie's home life. Is he exposed to violence?" Mrs. Carlston asked the couple.

"Het. Whenever I'm home with the kids it is a peaceful environment да. Except when my little sister visits us, but she just has a different way of expressing herself." Ivan told the teacher.

"And…how does she express herself…?"

"Not in a violent way at all да." Ivan lied.

"When I'm home with them nothing ever violent happens. I try to keep my menace of a brother away. He's not violent, just dumb." Matthew stated.

"Well it doesn't seem that way, because I overheard Jamie talking to another student about his father's pipe and vodka." Matthew looked at Ivan who shrugged and cursed in Russian under his breath.

"Is there anything you'd like to say Mr. Braginski?"

"Vodka is Russian water да. It's not my fault I like to drink it." Ivan defended himself. _There is a big chance Jamie might go to detention, be suspended or expelled…_ Matthew thought. Matthew gave Ivan a look that said let me do the talking from now on.

"Well…would you men care for some chocolate?" Mrs. Carlston asked pulling out a little jar with truffles on the inside.

"I'm sorry I do not care for sweets." Ivan told Mrs. Carlston. She then looked at Matthew. He carefully took one.

"Thank you for offering. They've been my favorite sweet since I was a child. Especially this brand." Matthew responded.

"My son has always cared for these when he was little. He'd get it on his face a lot and my ex-husband and I would have to clean it off. I'm sorry I got carried away." The teacher apologized. It was odd, the woman's attitude changed from curiosity to pained.

"It's alright. But I was hoping that we can get back to our son's punishment." Matthew said uncomfortably.

"Obviously from what you've told me, I see that your son wasn't the real cause. I'll just tell the principal he was innocent and that he doesn't deserve a real punishment. Excuse, but I have a meeting to go to so I'm sorry on cutting our time short." Mrs. Carlston spoke standing up and grabbing her coat.

* * *

Marisol Carlston went into the small local grocery store to go buy some milk and coffee. She sighed. _That was such a horrible time…I can't believe what was going on there_ Marisol thought. Marisol shook her head and went into the dairy section. _Where's the coffee creamer?_ She thought.

"Would the pretty woman like some help?" asked a man with a familiar French accent. _Oh no…please tell me it's not him. _

"No thank you I've got everything under control" Marisol answered the man as she continued looking for the creamer.

"You know it is very rude to not look at the person you are speaking to belle." _No way! It is him…crap!_

"Like I want to look at you Francis."

"Oh now how did you know it was me?"

"You're annoying accent Bonnefoy." Marisol told the traitor.

"You used to think was sexy non?" Francis replied coming closer to Marisol.

"Get away from me you ugly frog." She said turning around and facing him.

"You really are Arthur's cousin."

"You really are a creep. Now can you please excuse me while I buy some things for _my_ family, which doesn't include you and Arthur."

"You know you could've visited…at least for Mathieu" Francis stated.

"One, his name is _Matthew_, and two, in order to see him I'd have to see your face you ugly backstabber…and what are you doing here anyway?"

"I work here. Don't you like my uniform. It makes me look sexy non?" Francis asked her as he did a pose.

"It makes you look fat." Marisol said.

"Well that wasn't nice at all! You know Marisol I liked you better when you were nicer towards me." Francis replied.

"I don't have a reason to be nice to you. You broke my heart and because of you I couldn't see my son."

"It was your choice to see our darling boy. Obviously you forgot you're the one who let me keep him." Francis told her.

"You make it sound like he's an object. Please Francis, can you just leave me alone, I've moved on, and another thing. Don't tell Matthew that you saw me today." Marisol told Francis, grabbed the creamer, milk and left Francis there.

* * *

AWWW! I love my new OC! I feel bad for her, I mean she was with Francis at one point.  
Francis: What's that supposed to mean?  
Me: Shut up I'm not dealing with characters in this author's note.  
Anyway if there is any confusion on Marisol's and Francis' relationship I'll explain… and you probably have some thoughts in your head like, WOAH FRANCIS GOT OWNED, or Francis is a stalker? Well my answer to both is, yes. So that was chapter four, and I didn't really explain much about the two, but you will learn more later. You guys can guess on what their real relationship is/was, just leave a review. It's not a complex idea, and I think I gave you guys enough clues… I'm drowsy on Nyquil since I'm sick… Tell me if I did good (for a person on meds XD)

Translations:  
Je t'aime- I love you (French)  
Het- No (Russian)  
да- Yes (Russian)  
belle- Beautiful (French)  
non- No (French)


	5. Chapter 5

~Hello everyone! I'm still sick…erg. But I'm getting better and I will no longer be sick today because I have to go to my friend's house for the Super Bowl! I actually hate football but I'm only going to see my friends which I haven't seen since Wednesday because I've been sick since Thursday. Here's Chapter Five~

Chapter Five

Francis Bonnefoy was in his home sitting down next to his husband Arthur.

"Arthur…"

"Hmm?" Arthur asked as he took a sip of tea.

"…I saw your cousin Marisol today." Francis replied. Arthur put the cup of tea down onto it's plate and put it on the coffee table.

"Oh really, did you speak to her?" Arthur asked Francis. Arthur's husband nodded. "What did she say?"

"She called me a frog, and said not nice things to me. She can't stand us. We really hurt her. Marisol told me not to tell Matthew about our conversation though…does my uniform make me look fat Arthur?" Francis said.

"No Francis it doesn't make you look fat. Please tell me you didn't act like yourself when you saw her…"

"How else was I supposed to act?" he asked Arthur.

"Not like yourself! I'm calling my cousin right now" Arthur said standing up.

"Non, mon petit lapin! Don't do it! She will be very mad! Especially at me! And don't you agree that Matthew should see his maman again?"

"I do think that Matthew should see Marisol, but Francis I don't want to upset her anymore. Obviously she's still broken from what you told me. She really doesn't want anything to do with us, and there's another reason why I need to call her…" Arthur said.

"And what's that?"

"I need to make sure you didn't touch her vital regions."

"Oh hon hon hon! Is Arthur jealous? Oh just because you cousin doesn't have caterpillars as eyebrows it doesn't mean I'd rape her. Besides the caterpillars turn me on." Francis spoke wrapping his arms around Arthur. Somehow during all of the talking Francis got up…

"I'm not jealous frog! Now get off of me! Alfred's upstairs anyway…still don't know why he insists on living here…anyway I still have work to do Francis." Arthur told him freeing himself from his husband's grip. _WHAT? HOW'D HE GET AWAY! THIS IS NOT GOOD!_ Francis thought.

* * *

"And then he yelled at me Mathieu! The worst part is, is that he got out of my grip! I think Arthur doesn't find me sexy anymore! Maybe he thinks that we're too old for it! This is horrible!" Francis shouted as he banged his fists down on his son's kitchen table.

"Are you sure you don't want tea papa?" Matthew asked thinking that the reason why his father came here is unusual.

"TEA! That was Arthur's favorite drink!" Francis yelled.

"You make it sound like he died…" Matthew mumbled as he poured himself a cup. Matthew sat down across from his father, "Arthur's got his reasons Papa. You know, it is disturbing to be intimate when Alfred's there anyway. What if he came downstairs and saw…you know what I mean."

"He's done it before. Every now and then we hear a high pitched scream and a door slam. We used a DO NOT DISTURB sign a few times but it stopped working. It's like he doesn't have anything better to do." Francis said. Matthew now had to get the mental image of Alfred walking in on their fathers…that was disgusting…

"Papa I'm home!" Unity shouted as she came through the door and into the kitchen. _Oh no… my creepy grandfather's here_ she thought.

"Ah Unity! You love me right? Come sit on my lap, don't be shy I'm only you're grand-père. Now sit down before I make you!" Francis shouted. Unity was disturbed.

"Papa! Stop harassing your granddaughter" Matthew said. Francis twirled his hair.

"I can't help if she's so dreamy…" Francis sighed.

"Grandpa Francis…look I can see you're obviously sexually frustrated with Arthur but you don't have to be this much of a pedophile today." Unity told him leaving the kitchen.

"How did she know?" Francis asked Matthew.

"You're overreacting Papa. Ivan and I don't have these problems, and I don't think it's healthy to be addicted to…sex." Matthew told his father.

"It…it isn't? Mathieu! Why didn't you tell me?" Francis spoke.

"It's common sense Papa. Look, go back home. Arthur's probably upset that he hurt your feelings. Take him out to dinner or something…seriously get home before Arthur decides to make dinner." Matthew said. Francis' eyes widened when his son mentioned Arthur's cooking. Francis stood up, grabbed his things, said good-bye and left. There was no way Arthur was going to cook.

* * *

Ivan tapped his fingers against the coffee table. He was bored. Where was his Matvey? He knew that Matvey was speaking to his perverted father Francis, and that Unity was in her room. Jamie was still in school. _Should I just watch television? No it's pointless…there's no good figure skating_ he thought.

Yes no matter how terrifying Ivan looked he loved Russian figure skating. That was something that only his close family and Matthew knew about him. Ivan saw Francis put on his shoes.

"Au revoir Ivan. I have to make sure that Arthur doesn't make his disgusting British food" Francis said. When Francis mentioned Arthur's cooking Ivan scrunched his nose. Matthew came out of the kitchen.

"Good-bye." Ivan and Matthew said in unison. Francis left their home and Matthew fell back onto the couch, but ended up on Ivan's lap. Ivan's arms coiled around Matthew's waist and he could feel Ivan's breath on the back of his neck.

"You're comfy" Matthew said sleepily.

"Matvey is tired да?" Ivan questioned. Matthew mumbled a yes as he started resting his head on Ivan's neck. "Why is Matvey tired?" Matthew's husband questioned again.

"It was a long day…I'm too tired to make dinner. Can we just order out?" Matthew responded. Ivan nodded and held his Matvey's hand.

"Я люблю тебя Матвей." Ivan said.

"Je t'aime Ivan… can I nap now?" Matthew asked.

Ivan giggled, "Да, but I do have a question for you?"

"Oui chou chou?" Matthew asked.

"How would you feel if we took a vacation... like a second honeymoon? Just for a weekend да" Ivan suggested.

"That seems nice…but what about the kids?"

"We get a family member to watch them. I could ask Katyusha да"

"Alright, now can I nap?"

"Да." Ivan said.

* * *

Matthew and Ivan planned on going to the Caribbean for their second honeymoon. Unfortunately down to their last resort Alfred would be watching the kids, but Katyusha said she will come over there to help.

"So the big boob commie and I are watching the kids?" Alfred asked once again as Matthew was finishing packing his bags.

Matthew sighed. "You and Katyusha are going to watch the kids and the house while we're gone. It's not that hard Al, and when we come back, nothing is to be broken. Here me?" Matthew said.

"Yes Mom…" Alfred sighed. He helped Matthew close the suitcase and went to the car. Alfred, the kids, and the couple shared their good-byes and the two lovebirds left for the airport. Alfred walked back into the house with Unity and Jamie. Jamie looked at his uncle Alfred.

"Play with me." Jamie demanded.

"What?" Alfred asked.

"Play with me." The little boy repeated again.

"Didn't you hear him Uncle Alfred? He wants you to play with him. You know little boy stuff? Just stay away from my room!" Unity said going to her bedroom.

"YEAH GO HAVE FUN SKYPING YOUR BOYFRIEND!" Alfred shouted at his niece. Oh no…he just encouraged her to get a boyfriend! _Shit…Matthew's going to kill me! Or even worse…the commie!_ He thought. His thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell. Alfred went to the door and answered it, expecting Katyusha. Oh nay nay! It was NOT her…but someone worse.

"Well are you going to stand there or be polite and let me in? Oh wait you're a stupid American." Natalia spoke.

"Natalia, what are you doing here?" Alfred asked rubbing the back of his neck.

"Katyusha was busy with work, and I'm filling in for her. So can I come in?" the girl asked. Oh no, without Katyusha his weekend would be pitiful! He knew he should of a brought a porn magazine… not that Alfred owned one…heh heh…

"I'm sorry. Come in" Alfred told her letting her in. His dreams were crushed!

"Look. I know you were expecting my DOUBLE D sister, but she does work right? Business is booming right now, plus Toris finally got tickets for a play they had been hoping to see for two months. Now who would want to make her life harder, by trying to joggle work, babysit kids, and still have some time with her boyfriend?"

"She's a DOUBLE D? That's AMAZING! Wait…did you say she was dating Toris? Oh no! My dreams are crushed once again…wait I thought he was like…close to you guys?" Once again Alfred's stupidity was released.

"He is a family friend, but I'm not in charge of who my sister dates now am I? Oh and don't mention to Ivan about the Toris part. Katya's going to tell him later…just not now. We don't need her boyfriend getting strangled after their first few days. Besides it's not like I have anything to do better, well other than go to the studio, and teach a couple classes, but I have a lot of time. It's better for me to be here, since you'd be all over Katyusha, she'd start freaking out, and you will either burn the house down or forget to feed the kids." Natalia told him as she grabbed her duffel bag and went to find something.

"Oh are you giving me your bra?" Alfred asked her, but before he could blink a pocket knife was in her hand pointing at him.

"Don't talk to me like you're Francis. I'm just getting some chocolate Katya gave me…" Natalia replied. _This was going to be a LONG weekend_ Alfred thought.

"Uncle Alfred! Can we play NOW?" Jamie shouted. _A very long one_…

* * *

That was Chapter Five! Who's ready for me to embarrass Alfred and almost get killed a couple times by Natalia? About Katyusha and Toris, that couples okay, and I do like PolandxLiet, but UkrainexLiet is going to happen in order for the story to work!  
Poland: Like does he still get to cross dress with me?  
Me: Maybe  
Poland: Good enough  
Alfred: WHY AM I ABUSED IN YOUR STORIES!  
Me: Don't like your character…plus it's a lot of fun! But not as fun as writing Francis' character, that's a lot of fun!  
Natalia: I enjoy this…except for dealing with the idiot…how many knives do I get?  
Me: As many as you want…  
Natalia: I'll take more than 50!  
Me: Whatever… have fun dying Alfred! Oh and have fun reading this (and other stories) and reviewing! (BTW: When Francis is talking to Matthew he mentioned NOTHING about Marisol! Just reminding you ^^)

Translations:  
Non- No (French)  
Mon petit lapin- My little rabbit (French)  
Papa- Dad (French)  
grand-père- grandfather (French)  
Au revoir-Good-bye (French)  
Я люблю тебя- I love you (Russian)  
Матвей- Matvey (Russian)  
Je t'aime- I love you (French)  
Oui- Yes (French)  
Chou Chou- Cabbage Cabbage (French) (A nickname that French people use for their loved ones, how in America we use honey, love, dear, etc.)  
да- Yes (Russian)


	6. Chapter 6 SPECIAL

I'M SO SORRY! MY COMPUTER CRASHED RECENTLY (using a temporary computer) AND I'M NOT GETTING IT BACK UNTIL MARCH 1ST! T-T! But here's chapter six, it's not my original but here's a filler! He… you guys must hate me…PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!  
Alfred: I love seeing her so weak and vulnerable when she's not harassing me! And I was picked on A LOT in her original chapter  
Me: That's not changing…  
Alfred: DAMN IT!  
Ivan: You do a scene with Matvey and me да?  
Me: да  
Ivan: YAY~ *claps hands like a giddy child*  
Francis: Lemon? *raises eyebrow*  
Me: No…ew… I mean yeah I'll read one every now and then…but writing one…not my thing Francis not my thing…  
Matthew: You look forward to seeing one of those?  
Francis: What can I say? Oh! I have an idea! Not a lemon between Ivan and Matthew, but one with Arthur and me! Or even better, Unity and I!  
Me: … you creeper... Ivan can I PLEASE borrow your metal pipe?  
Ivan: You're not going to give it back…  
Me: WELL YEAH! Of course I want a memento of not a, but THE sexy ass Russian!  
Matthew and Natalia: :D which attack do we use?  
Me: …f*ck… um…here's chapter six…I guess…got to finish this chapter and very long author's note before I'm dead…(I TRICKED YOU ALL! ALL OF THIS [EXCEPT ME DYING AND THE LEMON] HAPPEN NEXT TIME! MWAHAHAHA!)

* * *

Chapter Six

_**Twenty-four years ago…**_

_Married Couple_

Arthur Kirkland sat in his bedroom with the stupid frog, Francis Bonnefoy. The year was 1987. He had to do a stupid project with the damn frog.

"This is stupid…" Arthur muttered.

"What is?" Francis asked looking up from his textbook.

"The fact that I'm stuck doing a project with a bloody wanker like you!" Arthur yelled.

"Now, mon petit lapin, you shouldn't be yelling. It is not my fault that I, the glamorous sexy Francis, had to be stuck with the odd haired Arthur for this project."

"Put a sock in it frog! Now remember, not that I'd want you here, but my family is coming over soon and I wish that you don't go off and start groping my cousin."

"Tell me more about her Angleterre." Arthur sighed.

"I guess she's like me. She's lived in America longer than I have, but doesn't act like one. Polite, pretty, was taller than me when growing up, confident, really nice. Wait a minute! Why would you want to know?" Arthur demanded. Francis chuckled. The doorbell rang. Arthur got up and Francis followed; the two saw Arthur's parents opening the door revealing Arthur's family.

The two boys went downstairs and the introductions took place.

"Aunt Elizabeth, Uncle Jonathon, Marisol, this is my…f-acquaintance Francis."

"Bonjour. Pleasure to meet you." Francis spoke being himself. Arthur's aunt and uncle introduced themselves and smiled, then left to be with the other adults. Francis looked at the girl in front of him. She was slightly taller than petite size, had sparkling green eyes, wavy chestnut hair that fell to her waist and wasn't touched by any hair products. Her figure was nice as well, her chest-oh la la! (**A/N: All those dirty people that wanted Francis to actually go into detail…yeah not happening!)**

"Hello Arthur! Nice to meet you Francis…is it?" Marisol spoke.

"How are you doing Marisol?" Arthur asked.

"I'm good. Is little Arthur worried about me?" she questioned. Marisol and Arthur were only born a week apart. Arthur being the older one.

"Just because you were taller than me before doesn't mean you can call me little!" Arthur stated.

"Sure… anyway Francis, are you French?"

"Oui mademoiselle." Francis told her.

"I speak a little French monsieur. Comment ça va?"

"I'm doing well thank you for asking. Arthur here doesn't like it when I speak French."

"Why not?" Marisol questioned.

"You make it seem as if I'm the bad guy!"

"Well, you are. You told me to be on my best behavior, but I'm always on my best behavior!" Francis told him.

"Yes because groping everyone is polite and well mannered." Arthur told him sarcastically.

"Mon petit lapin we all know you like it!" Francis sang. Then Arthur started to choke Francis (not enough to kill him or anything) and Francis started fighting back. Marisol giggled. They stopped.

"You two fight like a married couple!" she exclaimed. Yes Marisol, married couples try to claw each other's eyes out over something silly, like spilled milk…

"We do not!" Arthur told her. Marisol rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. What Marisol didn't know was that from this day on, her life would change…

* * *

_Calm your Willy!_

"Francis! Stop it! s'il vous plaît!" Marisol said as Francis was tickling her. For some time now, much to Arthur's dismay, Francis and Marisol were dating.

"Non, it's too much fun!"

"You tease."

"That's not being a tease. This is." Francis told her as he started nibbling on her neck. Marisol moaned as he bit down on her soft spot.

"Would you two please cut that out? You are in my home you know!" Arthur yelled as he came out of his apartment kitchen with his tea.

"Sod off Arthur! You know an unhappy mood means an unhappy Willy!" Marisol told him. Arthur blushed.

"Where the bloody hell did you hear that!" he demanded.

"The creepy guy outside the supermarket. You know the one who sells weird shit." Marisol responded to her cousin.

"That is…disgusting…wait, why were you talking to him?" Arthur demanded. Marisol shrugged. Francis felt left out. Marisol knew that she and Arthur were abandoning Francis from the conversation so she gave him a kiss on the cheek to remind him that they haven't forgotten about him, no matter how much Arthur wanted to. Knowing Francis he decided to go a little more…intense than a kiss on the cheek, since it was a way to greet people in his home country.

"What did I tell you two!" Arthur shrieked.

"Safe sex." Francis said with a smirk.

"I didn't even want you to have that! You piss me off frog!"

"Married couple" Marisol muttered.

Arthur groaned and stormed back into the kitchen. Marisol giggled.

* * *

_Related to the Frog_

Francis was fidgeting in his seat, which was very uncommon for the Frenchman. Arthur, Elizabeth Williams Kirkland and Jonathon Kirkland happened to be in the room with Francis as well.

"Thank you for all coming…" Francis spoke quietly. An odd thing for him to do. Arthur was confused. He had known Francis for a while, and (HE WON'T ADMIT IT) Francis was a friend to him, this was nothing like how Francis would act. Even if he was nervous.

"Is there something you want Francis?"

"Oui…I want your blessing in marrying Marisol."

"Yes!" Elizabeth said.

"Of course." Jonathon told him.

"NO BLOODY WAY!" Arthur yelled. Oh Francis, why would you think Arthur would say yes? He's been disapproving the relationship since day one. Silly little Frenchman!

Elizabeth was ignoring her nephew and told him Arthur was just being a wanker and that he means well.

"Have the wedding when you please!" Jonathon said.

"I'm so excited!" Elizabeth spoke giddily.

"Oui! But it's Marisol's decision if she wants to spend eternity with moi!" Francis told them. Arthur was still in shock. How could his aunt and uncle be so…happy? He was going to be related to the frog. RELATED TO THE FROG!

* * *

_Tears of Joy_

There was a high pitched scream coming from the bathroom. Francis' eyes widened as he heard it. Francis got up and before he could make it to the bathroom he was tackled by his wife.

"Marisol what's wrong?" Francis shouted worried as hell.

"Nothing! I'm so excited!"

"What? Why?"

"Because Francis. We're having a baby!"

"What!" Francis exclaimed.

"A baby Francis! We're going to be parents!" Marisol yelled. Francis picked her up and he twirled her around. He couldn't believe it. He was going to be…a father.

Marisol was bright and energetic and ran to go call her best friend and mother. Tears of joy started to fill up in Francis' eyes.

* * *

_Dodo_

"Maman!" Matthew, the little baby said. It was one of the few words he knew. Marisol smiled and picked up her little bundle of joy. She stroked his hair. Its color resembled her grandmother's but had the silky feeling of Francis' hair. Marisol then picked the baby up and carried him to the nursery. It _was_ time for his nap.

She found Francis sitting in a rocking chair. Once again he wanted to sing his precious baby to sleep. Francis gently took Matthew from Marisol's arms and started to sing.

"_Dodo, l'enfant do,  
L'enfant dormira bien vite  
Dodo, l'enfant do  
L'enfant dormira bientôt._

Une poule blanche  
Est là dans la grange.  
Qui va faire un petit coco  
Pour l'enfant qui va fair' dodo.

Dodo, l'enfant do,  
L'enfant dormira bien vite  
Dodo, l'enfant do  
L'enfant dormira bientôt.

Tout le monde est sage  
Dans le voisinage  
Il est l'heure d'aller dormir  
Le sommeil va bientôt venire."

Marisol smiled at the sight of her husband singing their child to sleep. After the lullaby was over Matthew was asleep. Even though he was quiet and well behaved for his age, he could be easily put to sleep, especially by his Papa Francis' voice. Francis carefully got off the rocking chair and both parents put little baby Matthew into his crib and put the blanket over him.

"Sweet dreams" Marisol whispered putting her lips to Matthew's little forehead. Francis kissed the boy's forehead as well.

* * *

_Cries_

Matthew was three years old and was scared. His maman and papa were very mad at each other. There was a lot of yelling. He didn't know why, but Matthew just wanted to go back to the time where he would get dirty with chocolate on his face and when his father would peacefully sing him to sleep as his mother watched. The strange part was, was that the family was so happy and peaceful at their trip to Canada last week. The family didn't seem capable of fighting then.

He heard Maman crying. Did Papa make her cry? Why would Papa make his Maman cry? Matthew then heard his Papa reassuring his Maman. He didn't understand this. Before he could cry out or make some noise, Maman slapped Papa across the face and left the living room walking past Matthew, pretending he wasn't there.

A small tear ran across Matthew's face. The loving family…it was gone.

* * *

_Earlier that day…_

Marisol smiled. Finally Arthur decided to play nice with her husband. She knew the only reason he came over was to see Matthew. Arthur was going to bring his son Alfred along, but he was with his ex-girlfriend. Yes, old fashioned gentleman Arthur 'did it' and wasn't married. Marisol had been teasing him about it for a week, but those things happen when Arthur is drunk…and it's not a pretty sight either.

"Crap. I have to go get groceries. Can you two watch Matthew?" Marisol asked them.

"Oui mon amour. Arthur and I will be good, right Arthur?"

"Yes Marisol. I promise not to choke your husband this time." Arthur said with a sigh.

"Good! Matthew, behave for Papa and Uncle Arthur okay?" she said bending down to the toddler's level. The little boy nodded. His Maman kissed his head and stood up grabbing her coat, purse, and put on her shoes. She then bid the three goodbyes. With that Marisol left.

"Papa! I go play in my room. Is that alright?" Matthew said tugging on his father's pants. Francis chuckled.

"Oui mon enfant. Go play." Francis responded. Matthew giggled and (toddler) ran to his room.

"I see some Alfred in him." Arthur told the Frenchman.

"I see Marisol in Alfred." Francis replied.

"I should be afraid now…" Arthur muttered.

"Why?"

"Marisol was very…rambunctious. Still is…speaking of my cousin, when are you going to tell her?"

Francis sighed, "I'm not sure. I really don't want to break her heart. Mon petit lapin, I can't believe this…I'm worried as well for Mathieu. The poor boy."

"I don't want to hurt them either Francis. We can't keep pretending. We _have_ to tell her. Today." Arthur responded caressing Francis' cheek.

"I'm guessing you're my mistress." Francis told Arthur as he stared into his eyes.

"I am NOT a woman." Arthur replied.

"We'll see about that." The Frenchman told him as he passionately kissed him. Due to Francis' weight Arthur fell onto the couch with Francis still on top of him.

"I love you frog." Arthur spoke as he took a breath of air, but Francis used this as a chance to shove his tongue down his throat.

"Je t'aime Angleterre." Francis whispered and went back to making out (or as Arthur would call it snogging).

* * *

_In the other room_

"Mr. Kumajirou I don't get it. Papa seems different, like he happy that Uncle Arter is here. No matter what, you be my friend right?" Matthew asked the polar bear toy that Maman and Papa both got him when he was born. There obviously wasn't a response since it was a toy. Matthew hugged the toy anyway. The little boy was tired and snuggled into Kumajirou and started dozing off to sleep.

* * *

_Some time later with the two hot dudes…_

Arthur and Francis had been watching some pointless comedy on the television. Francis was bored easily and started teasing Arthur.

"Cut it out frog." Arthur told him. Francis shook his head and started kissing him. Arthur tried to fight him for a moment but gave in. Unfortunately this couldn't get intimate because they were interrupted by a high pitched scream. Francis got off Arthur, and saw Marisol standing there who dropped the groceries on the floor. Tears filled up in her eyes.

"How could you?" she spoke in a whispery tone.

"Marisol…" Arthur started.

"GET OUT!" Marisol screamed. Arthur quickly took his leave before his cousin could get angrier.

Matthew had woken up around this time, hearing his maman yell. He grabbed Kumajirou and quietly walked out to the hallway. This is why his loving family is gone…for now. Matthew didn't understand what was really going on at this age. He might not at age twenty two either.

* * *

Sorry for ending the chapter at such a sad note…but that's really the story of Marisol and Francis. After this Marisol has trouble with her current job and goes back to school to pursue a teaching career. She knows it'll be hard to raise Matthew so she lets him live with Francis. Alfred's mother (Arthur's ex) died in a car crash :( and obviously Alfred lives with him. Yes it's weird that Alfred and Matthew are actually cousins/step-brothers. Weird…I realized that recently…man I'm hopeless!  
Francis: You made me a big jerk!  
Me: Shut up… anyway!  
So this chapter was full of drabbles between Arthur, Francis (and my OC), Marisol. I have too many OC's in this story… but whatever works right? No Russian this chapter…T-T  
I have some story ideas, and I'm wondering if I should post them. You may see them soon enough.  
Alfred: 1 involves female Russia (thanks to Arthur) and Canada. And another involves me kicking Russia's ass right?  
Me: GO AWAY! YOU JUST GAVE THEM THE PLOT! ERGHH! And no you don't kick his ass…it's a humor story where America thinks that he has the most culture…so it's America (& some friends) vs. numerous European/Asian countries in their own groups…DAMN YOU AMERICA! YOU JUST MADE ME GIVE AWAY THE STORY! GRRRR! Well you'll be seeing both of them up soon.  
Ciao!

Translations and other stuff:  
The lullaby Francis sang: http: / w w w . mama lisa . com/ ? t = fs & p = 179 & c = 22 (Remove the spaces!^^)  
Mon petit lapin- My little rabbit (French)  
Willy- British term for penis. Safe to use around elderly.  
Angleterre- England (French) (obviously this is humans only but France always calls him it so I can't just get rid of it!)  
Bonjour- Hello (French)  
Oui- Yes (French)  
Mademoiselle- Miss/Ms. (French)  
Monsieur- Mr./Mister (French)  
Comment ça va- How are you doing? (French)  
Non- no (French)  
Maman- Mom/Mommy (French)  
Oui mon amour- Yes my love (French)  
Oui mon enfant- Yes my child (French)  
Je t'aime- I love you (French)  
s'il vous plaît- Please (French)


	7. Chapter 7

OMG I GOT MY COMPUTER BACKKK! This chapter was originally six but it is now seven! This is the author's note I wrote originally…wanna here it? Here it goes!  
_Hey! I hate waking up early for school…my mom calls me a sleep deprived child…THAT'S NOT TRUE!- *passes out on laptop*  
Matthew:… should we do something…I mean she has to write the story eh?  
Ivan: I agree with Matvey  
Francis: I KNOW WHAT TO DO MES AMIS! WE RAPE HER!  
Me: *wakes up holding Ivan's pipe* what were you saying about raping me Francis? I mean I can ALWAYS make you get kicked around shitless by Marisol and maybe get your Eiffel tower chopped off. I like that idea, don't you?  
Francis: O.O  
Matthew: Who's Marisol? Eh whatever… let's just get on with the story right Ivan?  
Ivan: GIVE ME BACK MY PIPE СУКА!  
_It turns out I _really_ want that pipe. What Ivan called me last means bitch in Russian. Love you too Ivan, love you too…

* * *

Chapter Seven

It wasn't planned for Natalia to comfort Alfred. But then again it wasn't planned for him to watch a horror movie. Or for a really weird night…okay maybe it was, but those two say it wasn't.

Natalia was sleeping in Ivan and Matthew's bedroom since there was only one guestroom and she didn't want to sleep on the couch. Of course she could always put on 'pants' and tell Alfred that he was sleeping on the couch, but she didn't want to deal with him. As she lay down, she noticed her pillow smelt like maple syrup. Gross…that was definitely Matthew's side of the bed. Natalia rolled over onto the other side and it smelt like Ivan. You didn't know this, but to his younger sister mostly, Ivan smelt very nice…like a mixture of sunflowers, vodka, and butterscotch. _Ah heaven_ she thought. Just remember this girl is pretty crazy, oh yeah you knew that, well just reminding you!

* * *

Everyone pees right? That's what Alfred wanted to do for the past two hours. Unfortunately he wanted to watch that stupid movie Paranormal Activity. The writer of this story told him not to watch it because it was stupid. Oh wait he wasn't supposed to speak about the writer right now because it wasn't the author's notes! Great! Now Alfred forgot his lines. What'll he do now? Alfred was mad and banged his hands against his lap. He was mad at himself but her forgot about all of that when he heard footsteps.

_OH NO! SOMETHING'S GOING TO GET ME_ Alfred screamed in his mind. He ducked under the covers. _No! I'm the HERO! Hero's don't hide! I'll go see what it is_. But he was too scared to get up. Then he heard a thud. Now was his chance!

Alfred got up from his bed and left his bedroom. He saw Natalia getting up from the ground. Boy was he wrong…and what was she wearing? He looked at her again and saw her wearing a grey tank top and purple boxers with a bunch of creepy smiling flowers.

"Crap…" Natalia mumbled looking sleepy as hell and then saw Alfred. "Oh hey…you want to go to the bathroom first?"

"Uh…no you can go first…" he replied eyeing the boxers.

"Oh this…I think it's cute. Ivan got it for my birthday a couple years ago." He did remember Matthew telling him a while back about this creepy ass birthday present Ivan got for Natalia…

"Well…have fun going to the bathroom. I'll just wait out here…alone…in the dark…" Alfred said swaying back and forth as she walked into the bathroom.

"Alfred, are you scared of the dark?" Natalia asked when she got out.

"No! It's just, I watched a horror movie and I'm afraid to fall asleep. Can you stay with me?" he questioned. Natalia sighed.

"Fine, but it's only because you're being a wimp, and so you can get a good night's rest."

"Sweet, but I really have to use the bathroom" Alfred told her as he ran into the bathroom, peed for a few seconds, flushed the toilet, washed his hands and got out. Natalia started walking back to the room she was staying in. Alfred stood there.

"Well are you going to come or what? There is no way I'm going to where you're staying it'll make it sound like you defeated me. Plus you won't speak about it ever again if you're sleeping in your brother's bed." Natalia told him as she started dragging him to the bedroom. She laid down on the side that smelt like Ivan and obviously Alfred ended up a little too close to her and she ended up pushing him closer to Matthew's maple syrup scented pillow.

"It smells weird…"

"That's why I'm sleeping on Ivan's side"

"His pillow probably smells like blood…crazy commie" Alfred mumbled.

"I think it smells sweet. And it's not blood, blood smells salty. So I just lay here until you fall asleep?"

"Yeah… hey Natalia?"

"Hm?"

"Doesn't it feel weird…knowing that our brothers had sexual intercourse in this very bed in which we are lying on?" that question made her jump.

"THAT IS SO DISGUSTING! They would obviously change the sheets!"

"Yes…but doesn't this bed feel…lumpy?" He questioned.

"YOU ARE GROSS!" Natalia shouted getting up out of bed. She realized the bed _was_ lumpy, but still this was such a gross topic to speak about. "How could you speak of our brothers having sex? You know while we're speaking of this I bet that's what's going on right now in their Caribbean hotel."

"Woah…wait that's why they left? I thought it was 'cause they wanted alone time-OH MY GOD OUR BROTHERS ARE HAVING SEX!" Alfred shouted.

"Shut up! Do you want to wake the kids up?" Natalia questioned. Alfred shook his head no. "Well obviously we can't sleep in this room since all you did was complain. Alfred, I have something for you. You said you wanted a bra earlier today right?" Alfred's face lit up with joy as Natalia gave him a bra with red maple leaves on it.

"I never thought you'd worship maple…" Alfred said.

"I don't. That's not my bra." She replied.

"Then whose is it?" Alfred complained.

"Your brother's." Natalia said simply. Alfred gagged and tossed it somewhere in the room. Natalia then started walking into the guestroom where Alfred was to be staying. Alfred followed her in a tow.

* * *

"Hey Natalia! Whose iPod is this?" Alfred asked her while Natalia was slicing up vegetables because she wanted to torture Alfred with their lunch, salad.

"Hm…give it to me for a second." She replied to his question. Natalia took it and started scrolling quickly through not paying attention to the song titles. She saw Russian letters. "It's obviously my brother's."

"I wonder what that commie listens to. Let's plug it in!" Alfred suggested an idea that the woman actually agreed with. She plugged it into the iPod dock and soon the kitchen was filled with Russian pop with singers like, Tina Karol, t.A.T.u, Света, Alla Pugacheva, and a lot more.

"Oh I love this song!" Natalia yelled as Alla Pugacheva's Bud Ili Ne Bud came on. Natalia started twirling around the kitchen and singing along. Alfred hasn't really seen the side of Natalia that didn't want to stab him. Well he did deserve it some of the times but his silly little comments didn't have to turn into a knife by the throat right?

"Dance with me." Natalia said to him and she grabbed his arms and started dancing around with him while she was giggling like a child. Natalia remembered when she was younger she and Ivan would dance along to Alla Pugacheva. She felt like a child again, and when she was a child she felt free. So pretty much, Natalia felt free.

"Natalia…why are you dancing with me?" Alfred asked her.

"Because I like the song…don't you like dancing with me?" Natalia asked and stopped spinning and looked at Alfred.

"It's not that I don't like dancing with you… it's just that twenty minutes ago you wanted to stab me."

"I have a different personality when music is playing. You know I am a dancer. Plus I think you deserve an apology for the way I acted."

"You're apologizing?"

"Yeah… I guess I am." Natalia said. She stopped dancing.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing… you remember our talk from last night?"

"Um…yeah…how could I not?" Alfred replied as he sat down in a chair.

"How much intercourse can make the bed lumpy?" she questioned. His eyes widened.

"WHY WOULD YOU ASK SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" Alfred choked out. Natalia shrugged and started chopping vegetables again. Jamie came into the kitchen and stared at Alfred.

"You didn't play with me yet. Why didn't you play with me? I thought you loved me Uncle Alfred! I thought you loved me!" Jamie shouted. Alfred stared at the child in disbelief. Natalia smirked. Alfred groaned and got up to go play with the wild child. That's exactly what he was called when he was little…HE KNEW THAT IVAN AND MATTHEW'S CHILDREN WEREN'T ADOPTED! TAKE THAT SCIENCE!

Unity bumped into Alfred.

"Hey, you have plans today or do you want to join or game of war?" he asked.

"I'm going over a friend's house Uncle Al. I heard you and Aunt Natalia slept together last night." His face went blank.

"Not the way you wish you did. You really shouldn't have watched the movie…I heard it sucked from a friend (A/N: PSH IT WAS ME!). Obviously I didn't actually know, I assumed since Jamie was already asleep and I was also."

"How'd you know I watched the movie then?"

"I saw recent purchases on demand. I guessed it was you since you are the only one willing to watch it in this house."

"Well what if psycho knife wielding bit- I mean your aunt watched it…" Alfred spoke tugging at his collar.

"No. We were watching television in Ivan and Matthew's room. We went to bed around the same time and I heard you screaming in the living room." Unity replied, "You're a scaredy cat."

"No way! I'm the hero! Hero's don't get scared foolish child. Anyway which friend are you seeing today?" Alfred changed the subject.

"Xan-Xan."

"Who?"

"Alexander. I call him Xan-Xan."

"YOU ACTUALLY TOOK MY ADVICE ABOUT THE SKYPE THING FROM YESTERDAY! CRAP I'M GOING TO GET BEATEN TO A BLOODY PULP!" Alfred shrieked. Natalia who was in the kitchen ignored him.

"No…Xan-Xan is just a friend…seriously where do you find these people?" she muttered.

"Then why did you give him such a girly nickname? Hmm?"

"Because everyone calls somebody with the name Alexander or Alexandra, Alex. I wanted to be different so I call him Xan-Xan. Not much to it Uncle Al. You should play with Jamie, he's really pissed you haven't played a game with him yet."

* * *

So that was Chapter Seven! I didn't have to type much since I wrote most of the chapter before the crash. Alla Pugacheva does make some good music, and another one I like is Eto Lubov. Search it. She and Maxim Galkim made good music (not the dirty way…if there _is_ a dirty way to think of it…) Anyway expect to see my story Make You Mine…Again up soon. It contains a female Russia and Canada love story, France's evil mind, Arthur's drunkness, America's oblivious(ness?), the Bad Touch Trio, NON-Psycho Belarus, and more… did I make it seem very humor like? Well there's going to be humor, DRAMA, and RRROOOMMMMAAANNCCEEE!  
Ivan: she's making me a lady?  
Me: YOU ONLY SPEAK OF THIS STORY AND THIS STORY ONLY! Okay? I'm just excited that I have my laptop back! XDDDD anyway…I'M SORRY FOR YELLING AT YOU! *clings to Ivan* PLEASE FORGIVE ME!  
Alfred: Doesn't she remind you of someone…just not as crazy…? *cough*Belarus  
Me: … okay that's it time to lose the Washington monument/Florida.  
Alfred: O.O I LIKE MY FLORIDA!  
Me: Yes…well your Florida wants to move on and be studied in a laboratory now…okay?  
Alfred: HELP ME! SHE'S GUNNA TAKE MEH FLORIDA!  
Ivan: even though this writer is obsessed with me…(somewhat) I enjoy her harassing the Capitalist Pig. Remember to review, and don't forget about the New story coming soon! There weren't any translations this chapter except for the name of an artist! Bye!~ :D

Translations:  
Света- Sveta (Russian (Russian Singer))


	8. Chapter 8

HIYA! I AMM SOOOO HAPPY! In March I went to D&B with three of my friends and my dad and I got my own freaking KUMAJIROU! I was so determined and I didn't play ANY violent video games there. Every time I go there I usually play violent video games but the week before (my dad wants to go there A LOT now) I saw a bunch of polar bear toys and I was determined to get a Kumajirou next time. I finally got one! HAH! I'M BECOMING CANADIAN! Now I just need to yell at my bffl (who got yelled at by a Canadian once…). Anyway here's chapter…crap…what chapter are we on…*scrolls up…* CHAPTER EIGHT!

* * *

Chapter Eight

Matthew relaxed as he rested his head against the head rest. He and Ivan were coming back from their vacation…that was filled with sand, water, sex, alcohol, more sand, more sex, Ivan worrying about leaving his iPod at home and afraid Alfred or his sister might find it, and more sand, water, and a lot sex. Ivan placed his large hand on Matthew's smaller one and squeezed it tightly as he pulled in the driveway. There awaiting them was the kids, Alfred with a toothy grin, and Natalia holding a knife in her hand trying to keep it away from Alfred's head. He parked the car and unfortunately had to let go of Matthew's hand. Ivan stretched as he got out of the car. Matthew then followed him out.

"HI GUYS!" Alfred shrieked. Natalia flinched ended up chucking the knife at a tree. Matthew knew the insanity would start when he got home…he just didn't expect it to happen the moment he got out of the car.

"…hi Alfred…missed you…" Matthew said quietly as he grabbed a bag and started walking to the porch. Alfred stared at him in confusion as if he forgot who he was for a moment and then "hugged" (TACKLED) him.

"I MISSED YOU! IT WAS SO SCARY IN THE HOUSE WITH HER! AND THE GIRL! THE GIRL IS A MANIPULATIVE DEMON!" Alfred shrieked again. Matthew looked at him in confusion.

"Eh, what are you talking about Al?" Matthew asked while pushing his brother off and sitting up to see Natalia and Unity standing next to each other arms on each other's shoulders.

"Yes, whatever do you mean?" they said in unison. Alfred screamed. Ivan was walking onto the porch as this happened.

"BIG BROTHER!" Natalia yelled as she hugged him (THIS TIME ITS A BEAR HUG!).

"Ah…Natasha, I missed you too. Is everything okay? Were the kids alright? Did the stupid American do anything bad?" Ivan asked her. Not much of a response from her, except a head nuzzle into her brother's stomach.

"Let's go inside! I'm bored." Jamie spoke. Matthew smirked and got up and went into the house along with everyone else.

* * *

"Mattie! Why don't you believe that everything was fine this weekend! I didn't harass Natalia _that_ much!" Alfred complained.

"Considering the fact I got into my bedroom I found a bra there."

"Yeah well it's yours!"

"How would you know that?" Matthew yelled turning as red as Lovino and Antonio's precious tomatoes.

"Natalia told me. Plus you're the only one who worships maple in the family." His brother defended.

"Yeah I guess your right…wait a minute! How would Ivan's sister know about that! Who told her about my private life! God damn it! I should've known you would find it…next time I'm packing that thing."

"SO IT IS YOURS!" Alfred screamed standing up on the dinner table. A knife flew by him _almost_ cutting his cheek, and stuck in the wall.

"Idiot get off the table! We are going to eat there. I recommend you get off before I get a larger knife and actually hit you!" Natalia yelled. Alfred's eyes widened knowing that all of Natalia's stress was being released now instead of at the dance studio later tonight. Alfred quickly got off the table.

"Hey look Uncle Al is her bitch…" Unity mumbled.

"What was that young lady?" Matthew asked.

"Nothing Papa! So where is Ivan?" she questioned.

"In the kitchen. The Russian siblings want to torture your uncle with their cooking…apparently he says he can't eat communist food and will die immediately from it. Ivan is very eager about it." Matthew answered. Unity nodded.

"Natasha! Помощь!" Ivan shouted from the kitchen. A stressed/pissed Natalia left and went back to helping her older brother.

"Hey Mattie…I have a question." Alfred spoke. Matthew looked at him while taking a drink of water. "Did Francis teach you how to wear the bra?" Matthew immediately spit the water out.

"WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT!" Matthew shrieked.

* * *

The dinner table was filled with pirozhki, kotlety, borsch, and many other types of Russian food. Alfred was freaking out since he knew none of it. Matthew was somewhat used to it, the kids were okay with it, and the two Russians ate it peacefully since they grew up with homemade Russian food.

"Alfred. You never answered my question." Natalia spoke suddenly. Everyone looked at her confused.

"What question?"

"The one I asked you when I was making a salad." She responded. Alfred madly blushed.

"That will never be answered! You can't ask something like that…at dinner!" Alfred replied.

"What question? I want to know да." Ivan said.

"Yes we want to know." Matthew continued.

"DON'T TELL THEM! THEY'LL KNOW! PLEASE DON'T TELL!" Alfred shouted.

Natalia sighed, "I was only asking him a mere math question. An estimate on something, it's just a silly little thing that he refuses to answer. And no brother, you do not need to answer it for me, because I think I've answered it myself after Alfred's stupid behavior and his outburst."

"YOU JUST DID THAT TO MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A FOOL!" Alfred yelled. Natalia smiled and nodded. Alfred pouted and slumped back in his seat and crossed his arms.

"Daddy, Papa! Did you know? Uncle Alfred and Aunt Natalia slept with each other over the weekend." Jamie spoke oblivious of how dirty his sentence sounded. Ivan dropped his fork on his plate. Matthew's eyes widened.

"What did you just say?" Ivan asked Jamie.

"Uncle Al and Aunt Natalia slept with each other!" Jamie replied. Ivan started to twitch a little, and Matthew knew what was coming next.

"YOU SLEPT WITH MY SISTER!" Ivan shouted standing up and glaring at Alfred.

"IT WASN'T LIKE THAT AT ALL DUDE! Why would I sleep with her!" the American responded.

"And now she's not _good_ _enough_ for you! That's it! I'm going to _kkkkiiiiiiiiiiiiiiillllll_ you!" Ivan yelled.

"No! Don't you dare kill him Ivan! We went over this numerous times, he may be an idiot but he is still my brother so you cannot kill him what-so-ever!" Matthew spoke. Ivan started to slightly calm down but then hugged his sister.

"How could you let this happen? It's so wrong! We're a family! Besides I thought he was too stupid to even talk to you! Why did you do this baby sister! I don't want mini capitalist pigs running around!" Ivan yelled as he hugged his sister tighter.

_Maybe I should get Jamie's oblivion to happen more often. I like getting attention from my big brother…oh yeah he's mad right now…_Natalia thought. "Brother. I didn't sleep with him the way you are thinking. The idiot watched a horror movie and we shared a bed since he was scared and I woke up because I had to pee, and had no choice but to say yes. I would never EVER in a million years do…_that_ with him! I am out of his league as you Americans would say." Ivan was relived, but still wanted to kill Alfred, for other reasons.

"Спасибо Наталья" Ivan said pressing his lips to his baby sister's forehead. Jamie was still oblivious and groaned in confusion. This caused his older sister to laugh at him. Jamie kicked her seat in anger. She kept on giggling and he kept on kicking the seat. Kids…

"Jamie! Stop it and finish dinner!" Matthew finally spoke up. He felt like a mother having to enforce the rules all of the time. _Why does everyone treat me like a girl? Just because that saleswoman made me try on a dress that one time at the clothing store doesn't mean anything! Just because I wore the dress to make her happy doesn't mean I _enjoy_ that kind of stuff! Who are you mistaking me for, the Polish neighbor down the street?_

* * *

_Mr. Francey Pants_

Francis had gone out after his work…not at the grocery store! It was his part-time job, his other job was being an author. His deadline for his next novel was coming up and he still hadn't finished his book. Francis decided he'd go out for a drink with his buddies, Antonio and Gilbert. They were known as The Bad Touch Trio.

Francis was sitting at the bar waiting for his friends to arrive. His cell phone rang. It was none other than his Seychellois editor, Angelique. Should he pick up? The woman had been driving him insane all day long! _I shall not pick up the phone, I will be strong!_ The phone got louder. It was annoying Francis so much that he finally decided to put his phone inside his drink. KAPOOF! Bye-bye cell phone! Oh shit. He just broke his cellphone…Arthur is going to be so pissed.

* * *

"NO! GET UP! DON'T DIE ON HIM!" Alfred shouted as he watched a soap opera he hadn't heard of until today, and had fallen in love with it.

"Bollocks Alfred. Shouldn't you be working?" his father asked as he read a book and drank a cup of warm Earl Grey Tea.

"Pfft. No way Dad! I just got back from watching Mattie's little angel-demon children with Satan herself. I'm perfectly fine watching soaps." Alfred F. Jones Kirkland told the Briton. Arthur shook his head in shame of his son. The phone rang. Obviously Alfred wouldn't get it so Arthur stood up and answered the phone.

"Hello?" asked Arthur.

"Ah привет Arthur, how are things going?" a heavily accented voice asked.

"Hello there Boris, everything is fine. Is there a particular reason you called?"

"Arthur! I am offended, am I not allowed to call?" Boris spoke.

"Well sir…you _are_ my boss, and it is very rare that you call for a little chat like this. Usually it is work, or you are inviting me out for a drink or to one of your usual parties."

"NO JOSE! DON'T GO FOR PATRICIA! SHE'S A STRIPPER WHO KILLS PEOPLE! DON'T DO IT JOSE DON'T DO IT!" Alfred screamed at the television.

"Did I call at a bad time…?" Boris questioned his employee.

"No. My son is being an IDIOT who needs to SHUT UP because I AM ON THE PHONE!" Arthur stated loudly.

"Aw Daddy loves me! Don't you Daddy?" Alfred shouted back. Arthur groaned.

"I will call you back later Mr. Kirkland." Boris said hanging up the phone. Arthur stared at Alfred.

"What?" his son questioned.

"I was on the phone with my employer."

"You mean the commie's uncle?"

"_Ivan's_ uncle Alfred. _Ivan's_ uncle."

* * *

And that's the end of this week's crappy short chapter. Writer's block can do this to you… General Winter=Boris Braginski. In this story he's not cold and more fun and carefree  
Alfred: and filthy rich…  
Me: . go away now…  
Francis: I don't have a BlackBerry anymore…merci beacoup… (Thanks a lot)  
Me: De rien! (Your welcome)  
Matthew: I have a maple worshipping bra? You are one sick and twisted girl you know that right?  
Me: Да (Yes)~

Translations:  
Помощь- Help (Russian)  
да- Yes (Russian)  
Спасибо Наталья- Thank you Natalia/Natalya (same thing…) (Russian)  
привет- Hello (Russian)


	9. Chapter 9

Hello! I had a sinus infection! Why am I using exclamation points? I do not know…  
Matthew: Last chapter had no plot what so ever did it?  
Me: ^^ Nope! None whatsoever!  
Matthew: Will there be plot this chapter?  
Me: Probably not…unless you want the readers seeing you have wet dreams about Ivan  
Matthew:…  
Me: Yes…I was writing you guys as teenagers before when my computer decided to break on me again…but now that that's done (and I don't have to write it) all hope is lost for a horny young Matthew!  
Matthew: You sound like Francis…  
Francis: Oh honhonhonhonhon!  
Me: _Here's Francey! _(In the Here's Johnny thing from The Shining or whatever…)  
Matthew:…  
Ivan: Hello readers! How have things been going?  
Me: Smexy Russ- I mean Ivan you're late *god he's so hot*  
Ivan: Did you just call me hot again?  
Me: …..No….  
Ivan: SEXUAL HARRASSMENT! AGAIN! But I'll let it slide for now…  
Me: Yay! Okay, so Darya is not an OC! It's Kievan Rus! You know…ancient(ish) Ukraine, Russia and Belarus…um it's the countries mother…screw it research. Anyway I will start writing now instead of writing a SUPER long(er) author's note. Ta-ta!

* * *

Chapter Nine

**(A/N: TIME SKIP! This is taking place in December, the story started in Spring time and now it is late winter a bit after Christmas, 'kay?)**

"Toris, can you set the table?" Katyusha asked her "secret" boyfriend, well secret to her brother. Toris nodded and started setting the table. Today was Boris Braginski's birthday, and his niece's and nephew and their respective friends and/or families were helping set up for his surprise party. Katyusha's mother, Darya, was decorating her brother-in-law's living room with shiny metallic streamers and banners. Unfortunately as her children's lives progressed hers was getting closer to the ending. It's not like Darya was old or anything…but her back would act up every now and then. It was one of those times.

"Mama, would you like some help?" Ivan asked his mother when he came into his uncle's living room.

"Please Vanya." Darya spoke handing him some streamers. Ivan gladly took them and started hanging them. Darya smiled and relaxed at the peace and quiet going on. For once!

"YOU STUPID AMERICAN!" Darya's youngest child shouted. _There goes the relaxation…_ Natalya dragged Alfred F. Jones into the room.

"Mama, Ivan, we have a problem." Natalya spoke. They turned and looked at her.

"What happened?" Ivan questioned his sister.

"This idiot decided to eat all the cake batter."

"YOU ATE THE CAKE BATTER!" Ivan screamed.

"Well Katyusha said I could lick the spoon!" Alfred defended. _Why does my eldest sister have to be so kind and motherly all the time…damn it!_ Ivan thought to himself.

"That doesn't mean eat ALL of it!" Ivan shouted. He really wanted to throw this idiot off a building.

"There's still some left!"

"Yeah, enough to make a cupcake…" Natalya mumbled.

"That's it! Since there obviously isn't enough time to make more cake batter and have the cake finished before Boris gets home, we'll make him a cupcake!" Alfred decided.

"You know…that isn't a bad idea…" Darya responded.

"See your mom agrees!"

"Mama!" Natalya and Ivan shouted in unison.

"Vanya, Natasha…shut up, and go make your uncle a cupcake…well not you Vanya. You help me finish the décor. Come on! Move it!" Darya demanded. Her children groaned but listened. Alfred followed Natalya into the kitchen, much to her distress. Katyusha came out of the kitchen wearing a black and white checkered apron.

"Ivan, have you seen Matvey or the others?" she questioned her little brother.

"I think they got lost in the house…"

"Again?" she questioned, "Well they aren't reckless…oh wait…the kids are with them. I have a sudden urge to find them, but there are responsible adults there…well if Francis is counted responsible when he gropes somebody, but it's alright he's married to the one he's groping right?"

"Katya, you're babbling again." Darya spoke.

"And Arthur's not the only one he gropes. I've felt a persistent hand on my butt every now and then when I visit my in-laws…" Ivan blabbered out. Katyusha's face was priceless.

"What!"

"It's true. There's a reason why you and Natalya aren't allowed to sit next to Francis. He'd be feeling you guys up, and obviously since you don't have a mate to protect you yet, brother Ivan is here!" Ivan said proudly like a child. **(A/N: Even though Ivan doesn't know about Toris, I think Katyusha can protect herself better than Toris can protect her… I mean she grew up with Ivan and Natalya, she has to have SOME fighting skills…)**

"Okay Brother Ivan, now go be a good son and put the banner up. No not there! Over there! Ugh… men have no decorating sense what so ever. Put it on the wall to the left. No not your left my left!" Darya spoke trying to explain to her son where to put up the banner that read "Happy Birthday!" Ivan only muttered something in Russian under his breath, of course being cusses.

"What was that?" his mother asked sternly.

"That I love you and you are the best mother ever…" Ivan replied.

"That's what I thought I heard." Darya stated.

* * *

Arthur, Francis, Matthew, Unity and Jamie had been found and now everyone was hiding behind furniture, so let's review.

-Ivan and Matthew- behind the loveseat

-Alfred, Francis and Unity- in the hall way leading to the living room

-Arthur, Darya, Natalya- behind chairs

-Katyusha, Toris, and Jamie- behind the couch

The door was unlocked and heavy footsteps entered the home and the light switch went off. Everybody jumped up and out and yelled "Surprise!"

"Wow…I'm not really surprised…" Boris spoke.

"What! What do you mean you're NOT surprised!" Darya yelled at her brother-in-law.

"I saw Arthur's car across the street…and I saw your license plate Darya. MAMARUS1? **(A/N: Sorry if anyone actually has this as a license plate…I just made it up right now…)** I helped you choose it you know…" Anybody who was pissed that he wasn't surprised glared at the parents.

"Thank you though. It was very thoughtful. Besides, I have a feeling Katyusha made a cake, and you know I have a soft spot for her cooking." Boris went on and on about his niece's cooking while everyone who knew what Alfred did looked to the side.

"Yes Дядя, we know how you love Katya's cooking…" Ivan spoke.

"Can we just screw dinner and get onto dessert?" Boris questioned.

"Hmm, I've never done food before, but I could try…" Francis piped up.

"HE DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT BLOODY FROG!" Arthur shouted at his husband.

"No. Boris you are eating dinner, and if you aren't I will tie you up to a chair again and give you Viagra. I've done it twice; I'll do it a third time." Darya threatened.

"Mama, you've done that to him?" Natalya asked.

"Yes, when Katyusha was two and New Years of 2002." Darya spoke proudly.

"That year…our last New Year's in Russia." Ivan whispered. There was an awkward silence, due to the Russian families' quietness which then resulted in Arthur deciding it was time to eat.

* * *

"You know how we were speaking about New Years before?" Boris asked. They all nodded. "I spoke to the family." Ivan groaned. "Is something wrong?"

"Yes, they're OUR FAMILY!" Ivan spoke. Alfred's eyes widened.

"Wait…there's MORE of you?" Alfred questioned.

"Yes, what did you think you stupid American?" Natalya asked sarcastically. Alfred "died". (You all know the anime/manga dying thing right…?)

"What about our family Boris?" Katyusha asked her uncle.

"It's been decided that Ivan will be hosting the next New Year's." Boris stated calmly. Ivan started choking on his drink and Matthew started rubbing his arm and Ivan ended up squirting all of his drink on his dinner.

"Excuse me?" Ivan demanded.

"You heard me, you aren't going deaf boy."

"Why me? Why not you! I mean they called you!" he continued.

"Well I wasn't the one who made our family in Russia be on the call block list. There's a reason they don't call you Ivan."

"Who said it'd be my house? Why not Katyusha or Natalya- you guys suck for having apartments you know that right?" Ivan asked looking at his sisters when asking the last part. They grinned and high-fived each other. Ivan was out ruled by the power of sisterhood.

"Ivan, it's your house and that's final. They've been to your uncle's and my home, besides we don't want them at our places anymore!" Darya spoke.

"Of course. And what if I call them all and tell them not to come?" he questioned.

"That'd require talking to them you know." Boris spoke. _DAMN IT!_

"You guys suck you know that right?" Ivan asked his family. They all smiled and Boris stood up from his chair. _Oh no…_ Ivan thought. He looked at his family for moral support but all the Russians were smiling maniacally as Boris stood behind his nephew. Matthew was confused and so was everyone else.

"Vanya! Let's go play outside!" Boris chirped like a child.

"HELL NO!" was the response.

"But I'm the birthday boy Vanya!" his uncle continued. Was Boris getting revenge on him for doing this to him when he was little? Probably. But what was somewhat unexpected (not really) was that Boris picked up his nephew and threw him over his shoulder. (Yes Boris IS taller and stronger than Ivan…scary right?)

"Put me down!" Ivan shouted.

"You got heavier than when you were younger." Boris grunted.

"That's what happens when you grow…" Ivan mumbled. Alfred who somehow "revived" himself was in shock at the sight in front of him, so was everyone who wasn't Darya, Katyusha, Natalya, or Toris. Boris started somewhat walking (considering there was a twenty something year old man added to his weight) outside.

"Wait just a second there Boris. You can't go outside with my son in the snow without me!" Darya chirped.

"MAMA!" Ivan whined.

"Oh shush Vanya! Come on Boris! Let's go relive childhood!" Darya yelled as they jogged outside the house. _Why me?_ Ivan thought.

* * *

That's it for Chapter Nine! Hopefully it wasn't TOO short. Sorry for there not being enough FACE, OC, and Toris in this one. This just came randomly to me as writing. LOL Kievan Rus + General Winter= Attacking Ivan in the snow. I could picture my parents, friends, or me in the future doing this to someone. Dragging them or carrying them outside and tackling them and what not. So it kind of got fluffy there. In a few chapter you'll meet a bunch of OC's also known as the Braginski's and many more Russians attacking Ivan's humble of ode. Okay so Ivan's worried 'cause New Years is a BIG holiday in Russia, and Russians are generally party animals, trust me I know… and basically their just going to drink his 2 year supply of vodka. XDDDD

Translations:

Дядя- Uncle (Russian)


	10. Chapter 10

Oh man…this is really late…I'm really sorry guys! I just fell out of my fanfiction writing stage…I worked on my Ouran fanfiction because my friends were there to help me…and I started writing original stories for myself again…which I will never finish most likely…I feel like I've improved on my writing a bit. So this chapter is where things go from humorous to drama and more serious. I started writing this chapter in May actually and the last time I touched it was the beginning of June…Once again I am really sorry, and I shouldn't be making up excuses for myself…so…I'M SORRY!

* * *

Chapter Ten

"So why are we at the mall Mattie?" Alfred questioned his step-brother.

"My husband's birthday is in a day. It's his last day of relaxation before we have to get ready for New Years. Unfortunately I haven't gotten him a birthday present."

"Wow you suck. But he doesn't need a present! It was Christmas four days ago."

"Alfred. If your birthday was this close to the holidays you'd still want a birthday present." Matthew spoke.

"Yeah but that's because I am Alfred! Your husband is just another floating Commie from Commie-land!" Alfred declared.

"I didn't have to take you shopping. Now let's go buy the present already." Matthew hadn't been having a good week. His boss had kept him overtime every day, so when he came home Matthew was tired as hell. Ivan was busy preparing for his extended family's visit, like making sure the house was in good order, having to say good-bye to most of his prized vodka collection, showing some of his family, that came to America a few days before the actual New Years, around, actually trying to get some of his work done, trying to pay off the stupid holiday bills, etc. etc. etc. So in the end he couldn't be there to comfort Matthew. Plus the kids didn't have school and Jamie's attention span matched a squirrels and all he wanted to do was have fun and go out. Unity just wanted peace and quiet and to bop her younger brother on the head so he'd shut up.

Alfred and Matthew walked around the mall going into numerous different stores trying to find something. Matthew had been getting annoyed. After trying ten stores Alfred groaned.

"You know Mattie. Screw the shopping, I'm tired and hungry, just go fuck his brains out like there's no fucking tomorrow!" People started to stare when they heard this.

"Alfred shut up. You're causing a scene."

"Why should I care? Hey people, you don't mind if I talk about my brother fucking his husband right!" Alfred started yelling. Matthew's face turned red. Going through the shopping mall was "What is wrong with you?" or "Go away homos!" or "There are children here!" or "Mommy, why are two men married?" or "Mommy, what does fucking mean?" and the most favored by homophobes, "Mommy, Daddy? Why are there homosexuals in a public place?" **(A/N: Stupid homophobes…)**

"Al! Be quiet!" Matthew sneered.

"I don't wanna!" Alfred yelled. Matthew sighed.

"Alfred… if we go rest and get something to eat then can we go continue shopping?"

"Yes! Food is good. And after we eat you can get to shagging, as Arthur likes to call it, your husband, because it's official. Shopping sucks ass." Another thing that was official was that Matthew or Alfred could probably never show their faces in this mall again…

* * *

Today was Ivan's birthday. Ivan mentally sighed as he opened his eyes to the warm morning sun. He looked over to his side and saw the love of his life asleep while snuggling into his arm **(A/N: So cute!)**. Using his free hand he gently stroked Matthew's hair.

"Happy birthday Ivan…" Matthew spoke quietly.

"Did I wake you Matvey?" questioned the birthday boy.

"Non… Ivan? Can we stay in bed all day?" A chuckle.

"That'd be nice… wouldn't it?" Ivan questioned. Matthew nodded, stretched and then sat up on the bed swinging his legs over on the side.

Vanya looked at him confused, "Weren't you the one who wanted to stay in bed today?" Matthew nodded. But before any more confusion could enter the Russian's mind his Canadian lover pulled out a small black velvet box. Ivan felt like he was being proposed to. Before Ivan could blink Matthew handed him the box.

"Open it." Matthew whispered. Ivan followed his directions and opened the box to find a silver ring with the words "_Je t'aime Ivan. Joyeux Anniversaire" _engraved into it. Even though the burly Russian didn't know much French he understood these words. Matthew found himself being embraced in a hug by the Russian.

"Thank you so much Matvey. You don't know how much this means to me."

* * *

Ivan Braginski's birthday went nice. His son made him a nice card while his daughter decided to cook something for him. And of course there was the ring that Matthew gave him which he wears on his left thumb. But now that it was no longer his day he had to prepare for his family. Some of his family had already come to the states and he had been showing them around for the past week(s).

From the moment he woke up he was preparing. Matthew had been worried for him, especially when his husband started to hug each prized, precious vodka bottle from the cellar and was going to end up being chugged down by a bunch of Russians in a matter of time. Other than that the house had become spotless and the good couch was moved downstairs into the basement and old chairs were put out instead. The dining table had been pushed to the side of the wall for more space. Luckily Ivan and Matthew weren't the only ones doing the preparations.

Katyusha came over and started working on food with the help of Darya. Boris helped Ivan move the good furniture, knowing from past experiences, don't leave the good furniture out while the Braginski-Arlovsky family is drunk. Natalya was helping clean with Matthew and the kids. Anna (Turova) Nosova, Ivan's first cousin, came with their aunt Irina (Braginskaya) Turova, Anna's husband, Oleg Nosov, and Daniil Nosov, their nephew, and these people started decorating. At one point Daniil was sent to go clean with the others.

After a couple of hours the house was spotless and the good furniture wasn't in sight. Everybody went to go make themselves look presentable, aka showers for the extremely sweaty (Boris, Ivan), and dirty (Natalya, Matthew, Unity, Katyusha, Darya (cooking like crazy!)), and other things like that. Ivan had gotten out of the shower and left it for somebody else and he had started to get dressed. He had been stressed, not because of losing his vodka, or his family trashing his house, okay maybe that was part of it, but because of his large crazy family that he'd have to deal with in an hours' time.

* * *

Ten minutes until the party officially started Natalya stood in the bathroom and looked at her reflection through the mirror. She wore a black turtleneck dress that reached mid-thigh. Her dark black stockings had not been ripped and hopefully they would stay like this. Natalya's outfit was complimented with a pair of black oxford heels. Her hair was not hanging out as usual but was pulled into a messy bun. Natalya Arlovskaya was a beauty on the outside at least. On the inside she was cold, selfish, and traumatized, turning down the affections of Toris Laurinaitis, and paying him into a fake relationship with her older sister, making enemies easily, etc. She truly was an Ice Queen.

Natalya held her prescription pills in her hand and popped a few in her mouth. It was the same routine every day. Take the pills to keep her scarred history locked away. Pretend that she was okay for everyone else's sake. As long as she didn't look like she was hurting it was fine. But it wasn't.

She sighed and put the pills away into her purse. She exited the bathroom and descended down the stairs after leaving the hallway. Guests had already arrived, friends, family, and neighbors, all of them she had to pretend for. _This is going to be a show alright._ Natalya thought.

* * *

All throughout the night Ivan had been greeting his family and had barely seen his own husband and children. His vodka stash had been going down and down and he was ready for the crazy drunk Russians to attack his furniture. What surprised him was when his aunt Nastya had stopped the music and had called everyone to the living room for some family photos.

"Thank you all for gathering up. Hopefully you should all know that my nephew's birthday was yesterday and since most of the family is here now I've decided to set up a slideshow of family photos all throughout the years. Of course of Ivan's family since it was his birthday. I also want to thank Klara for sending me photos too." A very heavily accented older woman with short wavy pale blond hair and blue eyes spoke. Once Darya heard Klara's name mentioned she instantly glared at her older sister.

"This better be good." Boris mumbled before he took another sip of his drink.

"So…cold blooded killing brother-in-law of mine, we're just basically going to see baby pictures of you?" Alfred asked who had been sitting next to Matthew, who was sitting next to Ivan. Ivan sighed.

"Unfortunately…I think so. My aunt is odd like that…" Ivan muttered. Soon before anyone could object the slideshow started. It started off with a black and white photo with two little blonde girls with twin braids dressed in traditional Russian clothing holding hands. Darya slightly grinned at a photo of her and her sister. More childhood photos of Darya and Klara, and the Braginski children including Nastya and Boris, along with Irina and Ivan's father, etc.

After childhood photos it went to a young Darya with a young Mikhail, holding hands, or whatever else a couple in love would be doing in a picture. Maybe a romantic smooch or sitting on a bench cuddling, etc. Once it got to these pictures Darya grimaced and slowly turned her head away. Romantic dating pictures lead to romantic wedding pictures.

"Dude your mom was hot in her wedding dress," Alfred spoke. He received confused and concerned looks from both Ivan and Matthew who started to slowly inch away from him. After wedding pictures it led to happy family pictures and a little toddler Katyusha and eventually to a kid Katyusha and a little baby Ivan.

"You looked adorable as a baby," Matthew whispered into Ivan's ear. Ivan felt his ears turn pink. Even though this family seemed to play along happy for the sake of their guests, they hated what Nastya Braginskaya was doing right now, especially Natalya. Natalya grimaced and leaned back into her seat, arms and legs crossed with a scowl on her face. Little Natalya Arlovskaya had heard her brother and her brother-in-law's conversation. _How could Ivan act all calm?_

The pictures had seemed to be going in time order and after baby/toddler Ivan led to other pictures of the smiling Braginski family. Then after some other photos, (which we are still confused _how_ Nastya got these pictures when she wasn't there for most of them, and who e-mailed these to here…) was a not so smiling family. When did this happen? After Natalya had been born, things really changed. Natalya bit her lip and turned away from the screen and stared at the floor. She would not break down in front of so many people, especially her mother. She could _not_ break down in front of Darya of all people.

She tried to keep her cool, but she failed after seeing a glimpse of a photo of a younger her with the man she called "Papa".

"Excuse me," Natalya spoke feeling the tears rise up in her eyes when she stood up and left the room at a faster pace than she wanted. The tears fell down from her eyes turning her dress wet. The mascara that was put on decided to have a race and see who would reach Natasha's chin first.

Ivan got off the couch once he saw his little sister running out of the room.

"Natasha!" he shouted as he chased the sound of her sobs down the hallway. Ivan found the master bedroom door open and Natalya sitting on the bed with her hands hiding her face as she cried. Ivan sat down next to her. "Natalya…" Ivan spoke. The girl looked up at him.

"What Ivan? Are you just going to say that everything's okay and that Nastya didn't mean to do that, she's not a bitch who hates me and our mother?"

"No. I wasn't going to say that. I agree with you on Nastya. She is just an old cranky bitch and that she needs to go die in a hole sometimes." He said trying to lighten the mood. No laughter or grins came from his sister.

"Ivan. It's not fair…I don't like your family all that much…they think I'm an abomination." Natalya spoke.

"They're our family Natasha."

"Het Ivan, they are _your_ family. They always were _your_ family and always will be _your_ family. I never even met my father's side of the family or my father, and heck; Mama's family is rarely here…I only have you, Vanya." More tears started to fall from her eyes. Ivan wrapped his arms around his sister.

"What about Katyusha or Mama?" he questioned.

"It hurts me to say it but you were there for me more as children than Katya or Darya. Katya was at her work trying to help support the family, or with her friends, and Darya was as much of a wreck as I was. She was drinking trying to get rid of the pain. Vanya, you were there for me…" she told him. Natalya hugged her older brother as she felt more tears pour out. Ivan hugged his half-sister back.

_Just like old times_ Ivan thought. They sat like this for a few more minutes; the only noise was Natalya's decreasing sobs and Ivan's cooing trying to calm her down. After another set of minutes her crying died down.

"Are you better now?" questioned Ivan.

"Yes…but…I don't want to go back out there. I _can't_."

"No. You _will_ go out there Natalya."

"I am staying here. Nothing you can do can make me go out there. I feel humiliated. I broke down…I just can't!"

"Too bad, Mama's going to want to see you, as well as Katyusha. You're going out there, whether you like it or not." Ivan spoke. Before Natalya could do anything Ivan picked up his younger sister and carried her over his shoulder.

"IVAN! PUT ME DOWN!" she started yelling and kicking him. Her only response was a smirk **(A/N: a very sexy one I may add)**. Natalya kept on struggling as he walked down the hallway. Nothing worked. She stopped fighting. Ivan put her down.

"You stopped struggling. It's not fun anymore." He said and then continued back to the party. Natasha just stood there agape.

* * *

After the whole commotion Katyusha had to make sure an angry Darya didn't kill Nastya while Boris had been entertaining other guests with the help of Matthew and Alfred, even though Alfred just ended up flirting with Ivan's teenage cousin Viktoriya. When Ivan had returned to the party everyone's noise and chit chatter died down. Of course Ivan didn't make a big scene, he just continued on like nothing happened and started talking with Katyusha who was confused at her brother's reaction. After seeing the two everyone continued talking. Alfred turned away from his conversation for a second to turn the music back on and went back to flirting.

Eventually conversations led to dancing, drinking and eating, etc. Things had seemed to be going well after the incident, until somebody decided to bring out the karaoke machine.

* * *

As said before I am really sorry that this is a very late update. I wanted this chapter to come out for Mother's Day originally…I guess school got in the way of that. Summer vacation is almost over…so that makes me sad. I'm glad I finally finished this chapter because today is my mom's birthday and I'm going away on vacation from Wednesday to Saturday night. I'll most likely be back on Sunday, and my cousin is coming back from Kiev on Sunday so I'm excited to see the little terrorist girl.

I may be catching up with her for a few days…until I get sick of her beating me with pillows and I end up letting her beat up her step-brother instead, then I will definitely spend more time on this story. August is a very busy month for me…

I created a family tree of Ivan's side of the family for this story because I'm introducing MANY OC's this chapter and the next one. I'm not the best at making family tree's so I made my own retarded version of a family tree. Don't worry it's not that complicated and there is a guide to help you solve it.

Here's a link to it:

http :/ image /f/ 703/ raising kids family tree2. png/ (Don't forget to remove the spaces)


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